Facebook has been blowing up with announcements lately. From we’re expecting and ultrasound photos to meet baby x born (you get the point)… there has been no shortage of excitement on my feed. One girl’s cryptic posts in particular have been catching my eye.
So a little back story to begin…me and this girl have never been the best of friends. Quite frankly in the elementary, Jr. high and high school days where drama ruled there were times when we down right hated one another. I was less than nice to her and feel bad for my actions today. Since school we have grown up and matured (thank goodness for that) and no, not the best friends but we can say hello, ask how one another is doing and genuinely be interested the response.
A few months ago she shared a blog from a local photographer that talked about the hurt of not being able to have children and yet having to photograph them and their families. I didn’t think too much about it at the time. A few weeks ago she shared another blog on the topic of how painful the “when are you going to have a baby” question can be. This one got me thinking; is something going on with her? I read through the comments and in one breathe she states how rude the question is and how angry she gets when she has to field it and in another she talks about the “pain” she feels when she gets the question in the first place. All things considered I would have to believe something is going on.
Her most recent share was on a blog post discussion how a woman felt her miscarriage was her own fault.
So badly I would love to reach out, ask her what is going on, let her know my husband and I are struggling too and let her know I am here to talk if she needs to vent things out. That being said, I don’t feel I am close enough to her to do that. I don’t want her thinking that I am being nosey or that I am coming from a bad place. And what if I am wrong, what if it isn’t her who is going through the struggle but someone she is close to?
For now I won’t say anything. For now I will keep my mouth shut and hope she is ok, hope she has found people to confide in and a community to help her. If she openly admits there is in fact a struggle, I will reach out. But for now, I will just pray for them, because no one deserves the hurt that comes with IF.
Chasing Happiness with PCOS 
I’ve been there. Done that. It’s such a hard, and uncomfortable discussion. Maybe she will reach out, or you’ll reach out. Either way, positive thoughts and prayers to both of you. PCOS sucks.
Thank you! And yes, PCOS does suck!!
I would probably comment on one of her posts. But in an indirect way. Unless you haven’t shared your own struggles on fb yet, then nevermind. If you have though, maybe a little “So many of us out there are going through the same thing” kinda message. Your way of reaching out to her. If she needs someone to talk to, she will recognize the hint immediately and possibly reach out to you. Just a random suggestion. Trust your gut though. Maybe she has a great blog family to lean on like we do, it may be where she is getting these blogs from. It’s up to you if you want to open this door or not. Good luck! Prayers for you both!
That’s the biggest element. I myself am radio silent on Facebook in general. I have been raised to keep things private only sharing them with my nearest and dearest so the viral world has not a clue about our struggle. But you and Jennie are right maybe a generic response on one of her posts would give her the nudge to say, hey I’m here. Thanks for your thoughts!
I think a generic response may help. Women who have been through stuff like that are good at picking up clues in subtle messages. She may respond and may not. I personally always appreciate it when people reach out and offer support.
Good point, I too like when people reach out and we are more in tune to one another if in fact we are going through the same struggle. I think a generic response is a good idea.
P.S. how is all your IVF stuff going? You have been radio silent for a while… not that I can really talk 🙂
Things are great! We have our retrieval Friday. I am so ready for a transfer but we are having our eggs genetically tested which means we have to send them off. Patience is a virtue right 🙂