Confession: I Feel Ashamed

I feel ashamed. Birth announcements have been rolling in (though nothing new) and I have found myself asking the forbidden question, why them and not us. A question I try not to ask because let’s be honest what’s the point.

Most recently my husband came home with news he had received an email from a close friend. Him and his wife were expecting. This is the same couple I wrote about shortly after the new year,  who revealed that they too had been trying and feared their fate matched ours. Well, luck (or whatever it is) was on their side and they are weeks away from finding out what they are having, no doctors, medications, shorts or invasive treatments.

And here is where the shame lies……

I have no doubt they will be the most amazing parents, and no doubt in my mind are they deserving of such a gift….but…. I couldn’t help but feel a little upset. More than anything it was nice not feeling alone in this journey. It was nice having someone to talk to, who actually understands the emotions and frustrations we feel. I confessed these feelings to my husband and he too admitted he was a little down when he heard. Don’t get me wrong, we are so happy for them, sadly right now we are just having a hard time feeling excited. With our IVF starting in just a few short months I think the pressure and stress is starting to set in. Recently our baby talk has become more frequent and serious. Oh how I pray things would out.

I know soon enough it will be my time I only wish it was now.

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4 thoughts on “Confession: I Feel Ashamed

  1. Elisha says:

    Oh so sorry sugars! I am praying your one will be soon as well. Sending you hugs! Xo

  2. anabea1 says:

    There is no shame in how you’re feeling! If this woman had IF problems in the past, she has probably felt the same way several times before. And likely felt guilty about those feelings as well. It gets better. Announcements get easier to handle. Sending good vibes and thoughts your way.

    • jdubbelde13 says:

      More than anything I think it was the shock of the feeling. I have always been to happy for everyone but the further we get into our journey I the more I feel upset about the announcements. Thank you for the kind words, reassurance and vibes.

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