Oh my goodness so much to update. I will try not to rant too much.
Since I last wrote, following a break down, I had one additional doctor’s appointment where I learned there was still nothing to report. Not one follicle was of measurable size. I received a call from my doctor last Monday afternoon letting me know she had sent a prescription for more progesterone to my pharmacy. This try was yet another bust. We would be discontinuing the Famera and moving onto injectables.
I like to claim that I am just far too smart for my brain to be tricked into functioning correctly, so off we go to forcing the body to react. Rather than waiting until CD 30 I started my progesterone on CD 17…no complaints here!
Last Thursday was an interesting one. On the way to my car I had to walk through an events center where they were hosting Disney on ice. Adorable herds of kids were all dressed up as their favorite princesses (or princes) waiting for what would surely be the night they had waited for all their lives (or so they would claim). It was so cute, and yet for me a little heart breaking.
Later that evening I was trying on bridesmaid dresses. Two of the bridesmaids are sisters to the groom. They are nothing like my core group of friends and their superficial, vapid conversations were enough to make me hurl. At one point in time it came out that another one of the bridesmaids (also getting married) had two individuals in her wedding that were expecting children. The two sisters went nuts….you have pregnant people in your bridal party?!! You would think it was a curse or something….I am hoping my face didn’t turn red, but in my mind I was like well gee, I wonder what they would say about me if I were to tell them I have no intent on stopping trying at this point. My husband and I did discuss waiting before I started my progesterone but here is the thing, I can’t put my life on hold for people’s weddings, this could take me weeks, months, or maybe even years.
I don’t believe the bride has the same views so I should be ok there. I have not yet had the discussion with the bride but plan to do so soon, when we are face to face and not in such a public place. I did not purchase my dress but have picked it out; it is beautiful.
This weekend was another mentally trying one. My “best friend” who is more like a sister (I love her and hate her all at the same time) came over for a short visit while she was visiting her dad in town. She brought her baby girl but left her son (my godson) with her dad. As much as I would love to be a large part of his life she makes it impossible. ANYWAY, she started telling me all about how she needs to find new friends since none of hers have children (because apparently the two worlds don’t mix…). She was telling me all about how her son is at such an impressionable age she is super cautious as to who she will bring him around (funny because I see him maybe twice a year…is she talking about me?). I don’t think she realizes how offensive she was being but I was really hurt. Just because I am not a mother does not mean I can’t be around children nor does it mean I can’t be a good friend to those who have children.
I am finished with my progesterone so I would guess I will be injecting by the end of this week. Until then it is work, gym, home. I can’t deal with any more dumb people.
Wish me luck!!