A Lost Confidence

Have you ever had a bad week, maybe a bad month, or if you are really lucky a bad year? 2013 was that horrible no good very bad year for me! It started with the death of my beloved Grandfather right away in January. No his death was no surprise as he had been sick for some time but it doesn’t make the loss hurt any less! His funeral was held on my birthday, lucky me! Shortly thereafter came all of my doctor’s appointments, testing and eventually a PCOS diagnosis. A jam packed summer that should have been my best summer yet was riddled with varying types of illness (colds, fevers, etc..). August brought on the first try, greeted with an explosive appendix. The remaining months of 2013 have been greeted by failed attempt after failed attempt and laced with more family drama than I care to partake in. So you can only imagine how happy I am to be saying goodbye to 2013 in just a few short weeks!

I have big plans for 2014! We are kicking off the New Year with a long birthday weekend in Denver where we will be staying with some of our best friends! I’m hoping to make it out to New York at least once and maybe if I get really lucky I can talk my husband into a trip to California! On top of the traveling we have 3 confirmed weddings…I love weddings and plans to spend many summer weekends “up north” (can you guess where I am from?) relaxing by the lake and working on cabin renovations. I also have every intention of being pregnant through the majority of all this excitement (this is my attempt at staying positive and putting good juju out into the universe)!

So back to reality….2013

Following my last conversation with the doctor I started doing the math and was thrilled to find out I wouldn’t be ovulating (if I actually ovulate this time) until January…A NEW YEAR, yup no doubt 2014 will be my year!!! I was sure this would be the change in the tide. Even if I didn’t get pregnant this time I was confident the New Year would bring a change and my body would start responding to my medications, if only in the slightest way.

If there is anything you should know about me it is that math never has, and never will be my strongest subject and guess what…. this “try” will actually fall at the end of December. I am banking on the fact that I wouldn’t have results of any kind until Mid-January but even then I can’t help but feel less than confident. If all stays consistent and timely I should be going to the doctor for another follicle the scan the week of Christmas. The up side – I can just tell work with so few people in, I am not busy and want to take a day of PTO.

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3 thoughts on “A Lost Confidence

  1. anabea1 says:

    This post explains exactly how I have been feeling lately! I’m ready to be done with this year! Keep your chin up and good luck in your future journeys!

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